I must admit, I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. I’ve spent a few arguing with whoever I was dating at the time, I’ve spent a couple crying by myself in my room while I watch unrealistic rom coms, and I’ve even spent some where I totally forgot it was Valentine’s Day until one of my friends reminded me. The somewhat “successful” Valentine’s Days I’ve had I could definitely count on one hand. However, I’m actually not writing this to bash Valentines Day at all. Because no matter how much it can suck to have a whole holiday dedicated to reminding you how single you are, there are actually a lot of positives to this day of love — yes, even for us single ladies.
Aside from all of the fun pinks and reds and hearts that start to appear all over social media and stores, there is also Galentine’s Day, which is a great opportunity to celebrate the female friendships you have in your life. Valentine’s Day can also be great for celebrating yourself. I decided to embrace the holiday this year by reflecting on the positives of being a single Pringle.
I have been single since 2016, so a little over two years. I’ve talked to some guys here and there over that time, but I haven’t dated much — and I’m actually really okay with that! I know that I could date more if I wanted to, but the truth is, I am really enjoying being single right now. Some of you may be rolling your eyes in disbelief, but I actually think it’s important to have a few solid years to really get to know and appreciate yourself.
Here are five reasons I truly enjoy living the single life:
1. I needed the time to detox from my last relationship.
So many people believe that you need to get under someone new in order to get over someone old, and although that may help temporarily, if you don’t take the time to heal from your last relationship, you’re doing yourself and your new partner a disservice. My last relationship lasted on and off for more than six years. It was a huge rollercoaster. I knew that once it ended for good it was going to take me a while to process and deal with everything I had been through. These last couple of years have really helped me with that. Although I still have some more work to be done, I feel SO much stronger mentally and I have rebuilt so much of the self-confidence and awareness that was once destroyed.
2. I have strengthened all of the other relationships in my life.
One of the best parts about being single is having the free time to connect with your friends and family. I have gotten so much closer to my best friend, I have been able to make some really amazing new friends, and I have spent much more time with my family. It can be so easy for us to neglect our friends, siblings, parents, etc. when we are caught up in a relationship, but when that relationship ends, it can really open your eyes to the people who love you unconditionally.
3. I have taken the time to learn about myself.
It can sound silly or cliché to talk about getting to know yourself, but the truth is that we all need to. Instead of focusing all of my free time and energy on another person, I now focus on myself and what makes me happy. I moved to a whole new state, got a job in my dream career, grew my blog, and started exploring so much more art and culture than I ever had. Of course people can do all of those things while they are in a relationship too, but when you’re in your early to mid 20s, it’s just so much easier to go for things without having to consider a significant other. That may sound selfish, but that’s because it is! And I’m more than okay with that for the time being.
4. I spend a lot more money on myself.
Yeah, I said it! Relationships can be expensive af! Now that I am working a full-time career job, I tend to treat myself fairly often. I am the type of girlfriend that is always willing to spoil my man (even if he doesn’t deserve it). I have supported more than one of my ex’s in the past, even when I was broke myself. So the financial freedom I have now is pretty nice. Of course bills and other responsibilities are always there, but instead of that extra $100 going towards buying a guy food or putting gas in the car to see him everyday, it can go towards some new shoes. You feel me?
5. I’m generally less stressed.
I know that eventually I’ll meet a guy who is worth the little stresses, but overall a relationship should have more positive in it than negative. Let’s just say, I’ve had my fair share of negative relationships. So, I really enjoy only having to worry about myself. Of course work and finances can cause stress from time to time, but I always know that I can handle it. When you take on the stresses of another person it can be a lot more taxing.
I hope this post didn’t come off as bitter or anti-relationships in any way. I truly do believe in love and I have faith that I’ll meet a great guy when the time is right. But, until then I am enjoying this wonderful life as a single gal. I hope this post inspires some of you to also embrace the single life, as opposed to feeling pressured into settling for someone who doesn’t deserve you. You’re a QUEEN; don’t forget it. It’s time for us to prosper and grow as individuals… and love will come. <3
Photos were shot by Alan Taylor Jr. at Central Park.
